somebody to die for
by long time brother
Summary: robin / regina: Regina Mills is a wealthy heiress. She has everything, the looks, the money, the Blair Waldorf-worthy bitchiness, the money. She's also lonely. And there's only one person who can really see that. Hint: he's got a lion tattoo.


**somebody to die for**

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_'Women are meant to be loved, not understood.'_

**Oscar Wilde**

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Regina Mills is one of the wealthiest heiresses in all of Storybrooke, Maine. She's vicious, bitchy and can make a mean apple turnover. She rules over Storybrooke High School, as a regal queen, with her battle armour (also known as Ralph Lauren and Gucci) and her two friends, Ruby Wolfe and Tina (Tink, to those she tolerates) Greene.

She's also quite alone.

Well, not literally.

The servants bustle around the immense mansion busily as Regina tries to nonchalantly flick through the pages of a magazine but they're silent, working around her as if she isn't there. There's a heavy ache pooling in her chest, pushing her down until Regina swallows and taps at her phone quickly.

_"I'm not picking up right now because I either hate you or I'm too lazy!"_

Ruby's voicemail echoes into Regina's room and Regina drops her phone like it's burnt her, as the ache deepens. She takes a deep breath before picking it up again and dialling.

_"Regina?"_

Tink's voice drifts into her ear and Regina swallows a little before replying in her usual snarky way. "Tink. How's your hair?"

_"Fabulous, but the rest of me's a little preoccupied—is it important?"_

Regina's smile falls and she quickly replies, "No, it's not—I just wanted to—but it doesn't matter. See you at school tomorrow, Tink."

The ache in her chest pulsates with her heart as Regina drops her phone into her lap and pauses for a minute to breathe, eyes lingering on the magazine. It twists and turns inside of her because _oh, please, she's lonely, someone_—the dull pain throbs through her blankly and she needs _someone_, _anyone_, _please_. Breathe in and out; Regina takes ragged breaths, feeling the panic begin to break through and the calming motion manages to settle her alarm. Her fingers tap out a tune at the arm of her black chaise longue before Regina gets up decisively.

"Sydney," she calls, summoning her butler. "I want to go shopping."

.

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The mall is full to the brim, mindless people chattering, moving about, doing normal things and Regina watches them enviously for she wants that, she wants friends who make plans with her and family who do not leave her alone and—

"Regina—I need to talk to you."

Sharp seriousness laces the tone of the speaker as Regina's crimson lips break into a smile and she turns around to see a solemn Robin Hoode. His sleeves have been pushed up purposefully (not that she's really complaining; see those rippling muscles), to show the confusingly mesmerising lion tattoo on his right arm – the lion tattoo Regina has always been curious about.

"Robin," she greets with a fake smile. "I thought I smelt failure."

His words do not faze her as he continues, "You almost ruined Mary Margaret's life, you started half a dozen fights between Killian and Neal, not to mention the tiny fact that you also convinced Belle not to date Gold so they're both heartbroken now—all in the space of one day."

"I know—isn't it an accomplishment?"

"_Why_?" Robin asks, ignoring her previous comment, his sharp tone dropping to something softer as his face softens considerably. "Why would you do something like that?"

Regina feels something like uncertainty bubble up inside her and her fingers tighten on her designer bag so she holds her head a little higher. "I don't need to explain myself—,"

"Yes, you do otherwise I continue to think the worst of you—,"

"And what makes you think I would actually care about whatever you think of me?"

Robin has no answer. He tries again in earnest but Regina's eyes flicker to somebody familiar, mind flashing, _is that Whale_?

Victor Whale barks with laughter as a girl (a disgusting, filthy _slut_, Regina hisses inwardly) pushes forward to whisper secret nothings into his ear, lounging on his lap lazily. Regina's eyes narrow in fury as Victor presses a hand to the slut's thigh and they snicker together lightly.

"Look," Robin breathes, trying again, "I'm new to Storybrooke High but I've been there long enough to figure out that you practically run things—,"

Regina's eyes snap back to Robin and she smiles tightly. "What an observation, Sherlock. Would you like a toffee?"

"—and it's got to stop,' Robin finishes. 'You can't do this, you can't ruin people's lives like this—,"

Completely disregarding Robin's self-righteous speech with an "hmph" Regina turns to Sydney who has been waiting patiently by her side all this time and presses two fifty dollar notes into his hand. "Sydney, I want you to break up with Victor Whale in the most humiliating way possible."

"Yes, ma'am," Sydney bobs his head obediently as Robin gapes.

"And there you go, doing it again," he looks disappointed and something, _something_ pricks at Regina's ice hard exterior. "You don't get it, Regina—you can't do that—,"

"Victor Whale is—well, _was_ Ruby's boyfriend," Regina interrupts heatedly and she has the satisfaction of seeing Robin look stunned. "Mary Margaret is exaggerating—all I did was put laxatives in her apple turnover in the bake sale; Killian and Neal need nothing but the promise of Emma Swan's hand to get them riled up and Belle does not need Gold because he's even more manipulative than me!"

Sydney's yells of _"You lying, twisted, backstabbing bastard!_" and _"I knew I should've listened to my mother!_" echo throughout the mall. Customers and passer-bys look startled and then intrigue bubbles up inside them as they turn to watch the show. Somebody steals someone else's popcorn when Victor begins to stumble over his words in uncertainty. A few iPhones begin recording when Sydney angrily starts throwing donuts from the bakery next to him, at a startled Victor.

However, Robin and Regina are only focused on one another.

Robin fails to say anything as Regina pauses to catch her breath, watching him from under hooded eyes to gauge his reaction. He breaks into an uncertain soft smile as Sydney's shouts rise hysterically and Regina watches incredulously as his face twists in slight confusion.

_"I hope you choke on one of your favourite pecan nuts, you asshole!"_

"So you're not as evil as everyone makes you out to be," he says, eyes on Regina's face.

_"But I don't even like nuts!"_

"No," Regina snaps and she turns to leave.

_"Will the lies never end?"_

"But you're lonely."

_"I don't know you!"_

"What?"

_"Stop lying to everyone, you traitor!"_

"That's it, isn't it? You're alone. There's nobody by your side and there probably hasn't been for—,"

_"Can someone please call security on this freak?"_

"Robin, shut up before I put laxatives in _your_ drink—,"

_"Will you stop torturing me?"_

"For a long time and you have nobody, nobody at all—,"

Vulnerable terror flickers through her like cowering fire and Regina is startled, mouth opening to spill forth blatant, angry lies but Robin shakes his head. The lion seems to wink at her as he moves forward and Regina backs away but Robin only takes her hand. He squeezes it and she feels the unbidden comfort oozing from his warm hand, the unfamiliar affection Regina has never felt ever before.

"You're mean, Regina," Robin tells her, his voice husky. "You're manipulative and you deceive people and you put laxatives in probably everything—,"

"Robin."

"But you're also _incredible_. And you care because I've seen you with little Henry and Roland, those boys you babysit—you don't have to babysit them but you do. You don't have to secretly pass Granny apple turnovers whenever she feels sick but you do. And that's what makes you, Regina Mills, utterly _irreplaceable_."

Regina's lips twist into a small smile to mirror Robin's.

_"Karma's coming for you, jackass!"_

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**fin**

**A/N: **I don't quite understand what this was really meant to be and I don't think it came out as well as it should have but HEY HO, C'EST LA VIE. In my head, that should have rhymed...

On the bright side, it's my first OUAT fanfiction! I've been dying to actually finish one of these - I have like a mountain of unfinished fanfictions on my laptop without the inspiration or the ice cream to continue 'em. I'm happy I finished this one, though. :D


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